Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
