I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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