Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
