Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
