She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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