I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My pussy is not your playground.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
