My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
