Barsexuality is the new black.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Boobs are out for the taking
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Your penis caused this!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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