another moral hangover. fuck.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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