TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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