ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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