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Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We smell like vodka and hangover
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