Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
false alarm, still single
Randomize
