"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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