This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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