how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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