"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
