god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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