You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
