at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
