Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
