I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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