If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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