If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
