Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you never un-have a 4some
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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