Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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