You made me cry and you don't even care
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
