from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
