i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
