NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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