I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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