i jhust puked up my retainher.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm like, not good at living.
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