either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
