so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize