If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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