there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
