You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The feeling are messing with the penis
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
