yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
