i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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