If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize