I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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