whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
