why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
