my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
