I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
