i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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