Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
