I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
