I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just want to make out with him forever
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
