would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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