Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
