An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize